Limbo

spike

So the two Visual Effects People who contacted me, didn’t work out.

I didn’t really expect to be able to replace someone like the person I lost quickly… So I’m not frustrated by this.

If anything, I’m a little frustrated about not going out due to my Anxiety.

I miss chillen at a restaurant etc.

I try not to bash myself about this… Obviously I would have preferred for none of the trauma that started all of it to happen.

What’s interesting though is, going through the trauma really cracked me open… I’ve felt much more in touch with who I am since I went through it.

But, I’m not going out.

Trying not to think about last year when I was going out, it only upsets me.

I really need to be in the present with where I’m at, even though it is painful.

So I’ve been slowly working on Web Series stuff, but mostly focusing on more leisure activities, as well as Writing.

I really want to Self Publish my First Fantasy Novel… I wrote it back in 2011-12, then hired someone to Edit it.

But I wasn’t happy with the Editing.

So I hired someone else to do some work on it, and they not only Edited, but with my permission, rewrote some of the initial scenes.

I loved them so much, I decided I wanted her to rewrite the whole book with me.

But I’ll need to get some money together to do that, because she has a regular job, and this book will take a lot of hours to do.

Frustrated…

I probably need to talk to a counselor, but I’ve been resistant.

Not to mention my insurance doesn’t cover over the phone sessions, which is what I’d need right now while I’m not going out.

As far as Film… Confused at best.

Nuff Said

Thanks for Listening/Reading

Jade-

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